Ramadhan Kareem

Hi and assalamualaikum. I’m back again for this month. As it is May, we muslims already started our fasting month, which is Ramadhan.

If I can recall about this holy month, there’s so many things happen. Now and back then too

They are so many memories about this month, the happiness and pain

Honestly, if i can recall from past years ago, i can tell ramadhan teaches me a lot of things

my love life was miserable at that time, also , the starting of my love life is from ramadhan too

odd isn’t it? 

why does in that holy month, im doing unnecessary things lol

well things happens sometimes

i still can remember the pain that i had, in ramadhan few years ago. pain grows people,

eventhough i got hurted, but i also got blessed from this holy month, after all the pains

once, i got closer to Allah. 

i also once i felt joy and happiness just because i get closer to Allah

the real happiness is the happiness when you’re closer to Allah

thats what i think

and if you’re far away from him, the happiness you felt is not longer than you thought,

as there is no blessings from him

thats what im scared the most

thats the reason so many pain i had was in ramadhan

but also my past years ramadhan captivate me bcs of myself

this ramadhan, there’s pain too but its not deep as before, i would call it as, my darkest year.

where a pile of tears have been wasted

where the hearts have been broken

where me, shattered apart

when im so far from Allah, just because of a man.

the reason is? I have devoted myself to a man, who is likely doesn’t appreciate me at all

He is someone who likes to play, flirt, with other girls

i’ve once being compared to another girl, yet i still stayed with him

being called as rude girl

being called with a bad name, once

being cheated, so many times, but when he came back to me, i still accept him

im such a fool girl when it comes to love

so naive

after all that years, i might become more stronger than I am

then

i realized, Allah is everything. express yourself to him, 

pray to him

devoted yourself to him

ask him 

beg for His forgiveness 

in sha Allah everything will be fine, He will help you

Allah heard you. thats what i believe

the pain he gave you, gonna make you realize, 

everything is not permanent. all of these was temporary.

so this is all my thoughts and what i can recall when it comes to ramadhan

happy fasting yall!